What to tell children who have a parent(s) with DID, when, how?

Have a very intelligent set of young children and a DID which has us living on disability at this time. Have a spouse who is also dissociative but not DID-- some big ?s keep coming up- and I/We don't know how to answer. Don't want to burden or worry the kids, don't want them to have to start secret keeping so young- feel like holding back is hurting the older child's feelings, though- as she takes everything so personally and feels that she has done something that has led to me shunning or otherwise not trusting her. I use constant positive reinforcement- but she is pushy and stubborn (like her dad, lol)-- should I begin disclosure at such a young age? What should We say? How should we say it? How do we provide the reassurance that the children (in particular the eldest) are loved nurtured and cared about unconditionally? Any advice is greatly appreciated. No wise cracks, please.