How can I NOT get frustrated?

Some kids are starving for attention b/c they actually get too much attention. Some expect the same amount of attention that their parents give them, from everyone else. If you don't spank or can't spank when she misbehaves (if it were my kid, I would spank for spitting and things when they know not to), then all you are left with is time outs. If you are consistent with it and do it every time she does something she knows she isn't supposed to then one day it will work. I would not give her attention for things like this b/c it is what she wants. She has to learn the right ways to ask for attention and it sounds like that is a long shot for her right now. So, if you put her in time out then she will not get any attention at all and maybe that would help. If you have a hard time getting her to sit in time out, you could either put her back everytime she gets up or you could sit her down in time out then as soon as you get up say "you can get up now." That way she sees that you are in control of her getting up. You tell her to get up before she can. This actually works, then increase the amount of time you wait to say "get up" as she learns to sit.